Suicidal Thoughts Of A "WOULD-BE-DEAD"

Ang putang inang mundong ito ay binubuo ng walumpung porsyento ng putang inang tubig at ng dalawampung porsyento ng putang inang lupa. Ang putang inang lupa ay binubuo ng putang inang ilang bilyong putang inang tao. Sa putang inang Pilipinas lamang, may 91,983,000 na putang inang tao (nabibilang na riyan ang mga hayop na kunwa'y tao pero ahas o buwitre naman). Hindi ako nabibilang sa mga taong ito (Dahil hindi puta ang nanay ko, teacher s'ya...) Dito sa putang inang Metro Manila. ilang milyong putang inang tao ang nagtiyatiyagang makipag putang inang siksikan para lamang mabuhay. May putang inang puta, putang inang driver, kundoktor, sundalo, chef, estudyante, magbobote, teacher at mga putang inang call center agents... (OO, call center agent ako pero hindi pa rin ako kasama d'yan dahil hindi puta ang nanay ko, teacher s'ya) Masarap putang inang magtrabaho sa call center, malaming ang putang inang opisina, may libreng putang inang kape at iced tea, mabait naman (halos l...

***UMPA, UMPA, UMPA*** Hello? O, brad kamusta? Ok lang 'tol petix lang... 'Eto tamang tulog lang, ang init nga eh hindi ako maka tulog. Ano balita? Ah talaga, mabuti yan, para pag na-deds erpat mo, diyan na ako mag tatrabaho sa inyo, CEO ka, ako naman taga timpla mo ng kape tapos burat ko panghahalo ko....HAHAHAHA! Bakla amputa! Kamusta naman kayo ni Steph pare? Astig... Mukhang totohanan na yan ah. Astig. Hindi na kita yayayain pang uminom o kung ano man, sanay na rin ako sa'yo pare, alam ko na pag may juwawet ka wala ka ng oras para sa iba pang bagay... Ugali mo na yan 'tol, kahit ano pang pangako at salita ang bitiwan mo, alam ko na sa dulo mananaig pa rin ang puso mo. OK lang din naman dahil kasama ko si LG at ang mga players ng NBA 2K10, galing ko nga mag laro doon eh... dumadakdak ako dun p're! tapos madalas shoot ang mga three-point shots ko! Takte muntik pa nga akong matalo sa New York Knicks eh, tangnang Nate Robinson 'yon amputa, akala mong reincarnati...

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Nawala na ang misteryo ng iyong mga ngiti. Hindi na rin ako natutuwa sa mga maliliit na kalandiang ginagawa mo gaya ng pag sasalita ng matinis at pag arteng parang bata. Alam ko na wala ka rin namang pakialam sa nararamdaman at sasabihin ko. Wala rin naman akong pakialam sa'yo, simula ng nalaman ko ang totoo. Tao lang tayo,alam ko, may mga pangangailangan, kagustuhan at kapalaluhan. Pero ang kapalaluhang ginawa mo, ang pangangailangan mo, ang na gustuhan mo... kakaiba. Hindi kita hinuhusgahan, wala ako sa posisyon para gawin 'yon. Hindi rin naman ako nag mamalinis. Nais ko lang ilabas ang saluobin, kuro-kuro at opinyon. Gaya ng sabi ko, wala akong pakialam sa'yo. Bilang pagtatapos, nais ko lang malaman mo na hindi s'ya ang sagot, hindi s'ya ang kailangan mo, hindi s'ya ang mag papaligaya sa'yo. Naniniwala pa rin ako na matalino ka. Gamitin mo...

I'm thinking, is it better this way? Someone told me earlier: "Maybe it's better this way" I shrugged and answered: "Maybe" or is it? Is it really better this way? I'm thinking of ending it. Just like what happened with my "Mom" and my "Pseudo-Dad" No more expectations, no more pain; just "friends" no more, no less. Maybe I'm expecting too much from you. Maybe we're not really meant for each other. Was it the age gap? Was I too lax? Were you too confident? Tell me... Shall we end this now? I'm thinking of just moving on and forgetting us Is it worth fighting for? Is this even real? Will you hold my hand when we grow old? My wing, to fly me through all these pain? Questions that will never be answered 'til we cross the bridge... What are you thinking? As you sit there smiling, eating, working. Is it better this way?

It's the end of the world... All over me buildings are crumbling One skyscraper fell into another People are screaming, crying, running Mothers are praying for their kids It's the end of the world... The ground is shaking, slowly opening to engulf the populace Demons are climbing out of the crevices of the earth Angels with silver swords descending from the purple-blue sky Armageddon, no one will be alive It's the end of the world... As I sit here sipping my coffee Black as night, sweet as sin I sit here reading Gaiman It's the end of the world And I Feel Fine...

She was thinking of what to bring back home, thinking if they would like it, if HE would like it. She wasn't sure really, so she bought two of every kind. Anyway, it's not like it's expensive or anything. Camila, you see is a pleaser. I don't know if she knows but we all know that you just can't please everyone. Trying it is suicidal, either you end up quitting or pissing everyone around you. Not that this fact matters, but I just thought you might want to know. The bus was cold, she was wearing her brown jacket, hugging her handbag and looking outside the busy street of Lucena City. She could imagine the heat as people from all walks of life perspire as they pass through the bus she's ridding. She was constantly checking her phone for text messages, the one she's hoping for hasn't arrived yet. It's not like she is expecting but she would love it if HE would send her even a short "hi" or "Hw r u?" She misses HIM terribly. She doub...