Suicidal Thoughts Of A "WOULD-BE-DEAD"

Binasa ko ang kuwentong gawa mo tungkol sa 'ting dalawa Heto, at tapos na... At hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan... Makakalimutan na ilang buwan na pala ang lumipas. Lumipas nang sinuko mo... Isinuko mo ang pagmamahalan nating dalawa. OO nating dalawa, Walang mali kundi tayong dalawa.. Huwag mong isiping nag iisa ka.  Wala namang gulo kung sana'y nakikinig ka It takes two to Tango 'Yan ang laging sambit ko Ngayong hindi na buo and dating isa, Dinadaan mo ako sa 'yong mga tula Natawa ka ba sa biro ng ating tadhana? Mula ng masilayan ko ang iyong mata Akala ko'y Forever na... Babasahin kong muli ang kuwento mo Hayaan mong muling alalahanin ang bawat yugto Matagal man tayong nag sama... ngayo'y tila di magkakilala Isa Dalawa Tatlo Apat Lima

Sa kalye ng Mendiola. . . Kung saan nag halo ang balat sa tinalupan. Tubig at Langis, Dinayag sa Pinagkainan. Dahil 'ika nga nila: Hahalik din ang mga tala sa Lupa. Doon tayo nagkakilala... Pinagtibay ng pakikisalamuha sa mga kalye ng Pasay, Pawisan habang sakay sa Jeep at LRT TGIS: Tiis Gutom, Impok Salapi Tangan ay iilang barya, hindi pagagapi. Ligtas ka sa BF at Tierra Pura... Bakla! Kumportableng naka upo sa malamig na Auto Busog habang hinihithit ang stick ng Marlboro Naguumapaw ang pitaka. Nakakatuwang balikan ang ating mga pinagsamahan. Naaalala mo pa ba noong gumulong ka sa Glorietta? Eh nung nag yosi ka sa LRT station? At ilang beses ka bang tumawag sa Panginoon? Ang autong mabilis sa Libis. Ang pers lab mong si KC. Christian Albert Villanueva Rayala. Hinihika sa harap ni Malbarosa. Naroon pa rin ang puno sa tabi ng basketball court Ilang bote, yosi at chichirya na ba ang sinagupa natin do'n? Ilang beses mo ba sinubukang tumawag ng uwak sa ...

Between the moon... I cannot ask for more than this... Peace and Happiness Who would have thought I'd find it here? Here where all things are fake and pirated. I guess you find these things... As expected, in unconventional places like this. Straight to home after work, now it's straight to you... It's magic. How. You. Can. Convince. Me. To. Do. The. Things. I. Don't. Normally. Do. Like waking up early or staying up late, skipping my gaming session or forgetting a cig. If it's not love... Then I do not know what to call it. We could have met anywhere... A bar, the park, in a mall or a wedding perhaps... Who would have thought in Chase? Why not Ayala, Buendia... And New York City?

"...Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea, BUT I'D RATHER BE HERE THAN ON LAND..." It's the red shirt, definetly the red shirt, I decided. technically it's not red, some may call it maroon or crimson or even ruby but I'd call it red simply because I'm biased with the color red...*wink* I was sleepy to tell you honestly. As I sit there, like a gargoyle or a tree stump in that ever so familiar couch, as I watch the fan blades go whirring, blowing warm air, lulling me to sleep. Her sister, in the dinning room, obviously uncomfortable that a guy is in the living room. I waited for you, and your red shirt. I barely slept because House kept me up all night, I just can't get enough of his sarcasm and wit. But it was the red shirt, the 99 peso shirt she bought somewhere in Angeles that's pulling me away from slumberland, constantly reminding me of the good things ahead that day. Ooooh, the things we could do, you and I and th...

Ang putang inang mundong ito ay binubuo ng walumpung porsyento ng putang inang tubig at ng dalawampung porsyento ng putang inang lupa. Ang putang inang lupa ay binubuo ng putang inang ilang bilyong putang inang tao. Sa putang inang Pilipinas lamang, may 91,983,000 na putang inang tao (nabibilang na riyan ang mga hayop na kunwa'y tao pero ahas o buwitre naman). Hindi ako nabibilang sa mga taong ito (Dahil hindi puta ang nanay ko, teacher s'ya...) Dito sa putang inang Metro Manila. ilang milyong putang inang tao ang nagtiyatiyagang makipag putang inang siksikan para lamang mabuhay. May putang inang puta, putang inang driver, kundoktor, sundalo, chef, estudyante, magbobote, teacher at mga putang inang call center agents... (OO, call center agent ako pero hindi pa rin ako kasama d'yan dahil hindi puta ang nanay ko, teacher s'ya) Masarap putang inang magtrabaho sa call center, malaming ang putang inang opisina, may libreng putang inang kape at iced tea, mabait naman (halos l...

***UMPA, UMPA, UMPA*** Hello? O, brad kamusta? Ok lang 'tol petix lang... 'Eto tamang tulog lang, ang init nga eh hindi ako maka tulog. Ano balita? Ah talaga, mabuti yan, para pag na-deds erpat mo, diyan na ako mag tatrabaho sa inyo, CEO ka, ako naman taga timpla mo ng kape tapos burat ko panghahalo ko....HAHAHAHA! Bakla amputa! Kamusta naman kayo ni Steph pare? Astig... Mukhang totohanan na yan ah. Astig. Hindi na kita yayayain pang uminom o kung ano man, sanay na rin ako sa'yo pare, alam ko na pag may juwawet ka wala ka ng oras para sa iba pang bagay... Ugali mo na yan 'tol, kahit ano pang pangako at salita ang bitiwan mo, alam ko na sa dulo mananaig pa rin ang puso mo. OK lang din naman dahil kasama ko si LG at ang mga players ng NBA 2K10, galing ko nga mag laro doon eh... dumadakdak ako dun p're! tapos madalas shoot ang mga three-point shots ko! Takte muntik pa nga akong matalo sa New York Knicks eh, tangnang Nate Robinson 'yon amputa, akala mong reincarnati...

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Nawala na ang misteryo ng iyong mga ngiti. Hindi na rin ako natutuwa sa mga maliliit na kalandiang ginagawa mo gaya ng pag sasalita ng matinis at pag arteng parang bata. Alam ko na wala ka rin namang pakialam sa nararamdaman at sasabihin ko. Wala rin naman akong pakialam sa'yo, simula ng nalaman ko ang totoo. Tao lang tayo,alam ko, may mga pangangailangan, kagustuhan at kapalaluhan. Pero ang kapalaluhang ginawa mo, ang pangangailangan mo, ang na gustuhan mo... kakaiba. Hindi kita hinuhusgahan, wala ako sa posisyon para gawin 'yon. Hindi rin naman ako nag mamalinis. Nais ko lang ilabas ang saluobin, kuro-kuro at opinyon. Gaya ng sabi ko, wala akong pakialam sa'yo. Bilang pagtatapos, nais ko lang malaman mo na hindi s'ya ang sagot, hindi s'ya ang kailangan mo, hindi s'ya ang mag papaligaya sa'yo. Naniniwala pa rin ako na matalino ka. Gamitin mo...

I'm thinking, is it better this way? Someone told me earlier: "Maybe it's better this way" I shrugged and answered: "Maybe" or is it? Is it really better this way? I'm thinking of ending it. Just like what happened with my "Mom" and my "Pseudo-Dad" No more expectations, no more pain; just "friends" no more, no less. Maybe I'm expecting too much from you. Maybe we're not really meant for each other. Was it the age gap? Was I too lax? Were you too confident? Tell me... Shall we end this now? I'm thinking of just moving on and forgetting us Is it worth fighting for? Is this even real? Will you hold my hand when we grow old? My wing, to fly me through all these pain? Questions that will never be answered 'til we cross the bridge... What are you thinking? As you sit there smiling, eating, working. Is it better this way?

It's the end of the world... All over me buildings are crumbling One skyscraper fell into another People are screaming, crying, running Mothers are praying for their kids It's the end of the world... The ground is shaking, slowly opening to engulf the populace Demons are climbing out of the crevices of the earth Angels with silver swords descending from the purple-blue sky Armageddon, no one will be alive It's the end of the world... As I sit here sipping my coffee Black as night, sweet as sin I sit here reading Gaiman It's the end of the world And I Feel Fine...

She was thinking of what to bring back home, thinking if they would like it, if HE would like it. She wasn't sure really, so she bought two of every kind. Anyway, it's not like it's expensive or anything. Camila, you see is a pleaser. I don't know if she knows but we all know that you just can't please everyone. Trying it is suicidal, either you end up quitting or pissing everyone around you. Not that this fact matters, but I just thought you might want to know. The bus was cold, she was wearing her brown jacket, hugging her handbag and looking outside the busy street of Lucena City. She could imagine the heat as people from all walks of life perspire as they pass through the bus she's ridding. She was constantly checking her phone for text messages, the one she's hoping for hasn't arrived yet. It's not like she is expecting but she would love it if HE would send her even a short "hi" or "Hw r u?" She misses HIM terribly. She doub...

Naka alerto sa anumang maaaring mangyari habang naglalakad sa maruming kalsada ng Pasong Tamo. Hindi ako nakasisiguro na ang mga taong ito ay hindi mag tatangkang gumawa ng hindi mabuti. Nakakatawa dahil alam ko namang wala rin akong magagawa; kasabay ng panalangin na sana madaan sa angas ng mukha at yabang ng pustura. Ayoko rin namang mapahiya. Mabuti na lang at suot mo ang iyong jacket na nagkukubli sa hugis ng iyong katawan. Laking pasasalamat ko na kahit tirik na ang araw, suot mo pa rin ito. Kahit papaano mababawasan ang porsyento ng mga lalaking titingin sa'yo na ang ibig sabihin lang, lalaki ang porsyento na hindi ako mapapasabak sa anumang away o gulo. Awa ng Diyos, nakarating tayo ng maluwalhati sa Andok's. Na bawasan ang tinik na dumidiin sa malikot at pilyo kong imahinasyon. Aaminin ko sa'yo, madalas ako ang na susunod sa pag pili ng kakainin pero sa araw na ito, pag bibigyan ko ang hilig mo. Apat na araw na mahigit ko ding hindi makikita ang matamis na ngiti mo...

Dear Somebody, I'm not feeling well today, I feel like crap to tell you the truth. Maybe stress is slowly eating whatever sanity is left from this perverted brain of mine. Or perhaps 'tis just normal and for the past 25 years of my existence, this is the only time I really gave notice to what I'm feeling, what my "body" is shouting for all this time. Anyhow, how are you anyway? Last time I heard you were, how would I put it, feeling a little down? yeah, that would work... you were feeling a "little" down. I posted something on your "wall", to brighten up your day somehow. You'll be gone for 4 days, and it sucks. For the past few months I got used to walking down to your station and sitting beside you, and you know, just chewing the fat and shooting the bull. I'll miss you. I know it sounds gay and all but honestly I will. Little things like how you tap the back of my head or how you sit on my table or how you "wink" at me when...

Desperately battling sleep as I lie on this synthetic leather couch. The huge fan infront of me ain't helping at all, I'm fighting a losing battle. Tucked under your neck, I feel solitude; safe from all the harm the world could throw at me. With you I feel happiness, truly, this is where I belong; in an ideal world this is what's meant to happen. But we all know that this world is far from being ideal... I can't help but try to fight sleep. The first time I opened my eyes you were walking infront of me doing something. Next you were beside me, placing your shoulder infront of my face, you were uttering words to me, "try and get more sleep" or was it "sleep well?" I can no longer remember. It was comforting and soothing at the same time to smell the scent of your skin and feel it brush with mine. It's funny how the couch feel like home, how comfortable I am eventhough it's way too short for me. I love the way it hugs me, the way it lulls me to...

JP Morgan Sr once told a jeweler of his acquaintance that he was interested in having a pearl scarf-pin. Just a few weeks later, the jeweler happened upon a magnificent pearl. He had it mounted in an appropriate setting and sent it to Morgan, together with a bill for 5,000USD. The following day the package was returned. Morgan's accompanying note read: "I like the pin, but I don't like the price. If you will accept the enclosed check for 4000USD, please send back the box with the seal unbroken." The enraged jeweler refused the check and dismissed the messenger in disgust. He opened up the box to reclaim the unwanted pin, only to find that it had been removed. In its place was a check for 5000USD -The Little Brown Book of Anecdote

Bored to death, as I sit there listening to Gorke's pathetic jokes and Rey's forced laugh, obviously trying to be courteous. We will have to fight our way through eight hours of "forced" training, not even understanding a thing. The door beeped, the handle creaked and turned and a blast of warm air filled the room temporarily. You were wearing this yellow top that looks like a kid's dress matched with a black tight fitting pants and sandals. It was just perfect. It was something beyond me that really, I cannot describe it. It's like seeing a girl from a lucid dream, a girl I used to know, used to talk to, used to kid with and used to care about. As I sit there waiting for 5AM, as I sit there tapping the keys of my keyboard, as I slowly drift and escape reality thru sleep, I think of your yellow dress, and your black pants, and your sandals. It's like dreaming with my eyes wide open.

Patawarin mo ako... Hindi ko naman sinadyang mahulog; at hindi mo rin naman ako masisisi. Hindi na rin ako aasa pa, para sa'n pa nga ba 'di ba? Hindi mo rin naman alam Hindi rin naman ako masasaktan ...Na mababaw lang naman talaga akong tao ...Na nais ko lang naman ay ang kaunting atensyon mo ...Na kahit nag ngingitian tayo... Na wala lang 'to sayo Aasa na mawala Aasa na mawawala Aasa sa wala...

The tangy smell of metal as I open my locker door greeted me. I wasn't really gonna open it but Gorke asked me if someone texted him on my number; the fucking bastard is a ladies man. You caught me by surprise and I just can't hide the smile on my face as it beamed while opening your message. Short, simple but deadly. You really know how to tickle a man's fancy. It's been what, a week or a month since the last time we've seen each other? Was it when we went to Anilao? I forget... Your polka dot hanky comfortably sits infront on my 22" LCD Monitor. Every bullet I fire from my hunting rifle, every shot I take in NBA 2k9, every car I steal in GTA IV slowly drifts my mind away from you. Just when I was starting to forget your smile, just when I was starting to lose you... This... "Wala lang, naalala lang din kita..."

Sunday, September 27, 2009 If I were to describe this day by using just a word, no contest it would be "WET". One month's worth of rainfall poured in in just nine hours. We're lucky the flood water reached only up to our ankles and ruined not a single appliance in our household. I just feel bad seeing all these people lose their investments and worse their own lives. So what am I to do on a wet Sunday morning aside from playing with my willy? I switched on my TV and watched Kerygma. (And I know I don't look like I'm the type of guy who watches these kind of shows on a Sunday morning but believe me, I am.) Nothing special, Bro. Bo, with his usual deep, thunder-like voice in a very persuasive way gave lectures. It was about dealing with problems and why problems exist. According to him, 90% of the time, if we pray to God, God will help us solve our problems. He will protect us and lead us not astray. The remaining 10% we solve by ourselves to teach us how to d...

Ani ohevet ota I've enjoyed every second from the time you hop in 'til the time you hop out. I will forever cherish the bland humor and the pseudo-connection; indeed, it was well played. It was an epic story of love best left unread and untold. A story of sacrifice and deceit not really worth the effort. Ik hou van jou Nevertheless it was worth an hour or two of my time, it's not like my time is "gold" or anything; every smile counted, every bitter remark scored. You were keeping your own board where scores were tallied. Several names were there, I just hope mine's not... Ich liebe dich I must admit, I got carried away. I was hanging on a thread, I almost fell. Who could blame me though? It was a rule, it was the trend, no one can escape it. Everyone did and I'm not an exception. You were the only exception, heart of stone. Cold as steel... Iniibig kita You know I'm different, I always tell you that, I don't know, I feel like I am a cut above the ...