Suicidal Thoughts Of A "WOULD-BE-DEAD"

Naka alerto sa anumang maaaring mangyari habang naglalakad sa maruming kalsada ng Pasong Tamo. Hindi ako nakasisiguro na ang mga taong ito ay hindi mag tatangkang gumawa ng hindi mabuti. Nakakatawa dahil alam ko namang wala rin akong magagawa; kasabay ng panalangin na sana madaan sa angas ng mukha at yabang ng pustura. Ayoko rin namang mapahiya. Mabuti na lang at suot mo ang iyong jacket na nagkukubli sa hugis ng iyong katawan. Laking pasasalamat ko na kahit tirik na ang araw, suot mo pa rin ito. Kahit papaano mababawasan ang porsyento ng mga lalaking titingin sa'yo na ang ibig sabihin lang, lalaki ang porsyento na hindi ako mapapasabak sa anumang away o gulo. Awa ng Diyos, nakarating tayo ng maluwalhati sa Andok's. Na bawasan ang tinik na dumidiin sa malikot at pilyo kong imahinasyon. Aaminin ko sa'yo, madalas ako ang na susunod sa pag pili ng kakainin pero sa araw na ito, pag bibigyan ko ang hilig mo. Apat na araw na mahigit ko ding hindi makikita ang matamis na ngiti mo

Dear Somebody, I'm not feeling well today, I feel like crap to tell you the truth. Maybe stress is slowly eating whatever sanity is left from this perverted brain of mine. Or perhaps 'tis just normal and for the past 25 years of my existence, this is the only time I really gave notice to what I'm feeling, what my "body" is shouting for all this time. Anyhow, how are you anyway? Last time I heard you were, how would I put it, feeling a little down? yeah, that would work... you were feeling a "little" down. I posted something on your "wall", to brighten up your day somehow. You'll be gone for 4 days, and it sucks. For the past few months I got used to walking down to your station and sitting beside you, and you know, just chewing the fat and shooting the bull. I'll miss you. I know it sounds gay and all but honestly I will. Little things like how you tap the back of my head or how you sit on my table or how you "wink" at me when

Desperately battling sleep as I lie on this synthetic leather couch. The huge fan infront of me ain't helping at all, I'm fighting a losing battle. Tucked under your neck, I feel solitude; safe from all the harm the world could throw at me. With you I feel happiness, truly, this is where I belong; in an ideal world this is what's meant to happen. But we all know that this world is far from being ideal... I can't help but try to fight sleep. The first time I opened my eyes you were walking infront of me doing something. Next you were beside me, placing your shoulder infront of my face, you were uttering words to me, "try and get more sleep" or was it "sleep well?" I can no longer remember. It was comforting and soothing at the same time to smell the scent of your skin and feel it brush with mine. It's funny how the couch feel like home, how comfortable I am eventhough it's way too short for me. I love the way it hugs me, the way it lulls me to